Being a SAHM: My Review

I think I have been a SAHM (stay at home mom) long enough now to write an opinion about my recent job change. My last day of work was June 4, 2012 and it is now July, 27, 2012. Long enough? I think so!

I saw this a few days in the  "Humor" section of Pinterest. I don't think it is very funny, but it made me think. When you tell people that you are a SAHM they immediately envy you or they immediately judge you. This might be because they wish they could see their kids more, or they judge you because they think you have it so easy, and you probably lay around crafting and sleeping all day! Now I do complete a craft or two, but there is definitely no sleeping :)








My first thoughts after that first few days at home were, "Holy crap, what did I get myself into?" I am not kidding, that first two weeks was exhausting, emotional, and a huge adjustment. Taking care of Judah ALL day is nothing like taking care of him two hours at night, and with help on Saturday and Sunday. NOTHING.

Trust me, my full-time job was not near as hard at chasing a crawling baby who was now crying half the time because he wasn't used to being with me. Dealing with 30+ sixth graders every period was way easier! I knew I was making the right decision to stay home just based on how Judah acted when I was with him for a few days straight. My son, the baby I gave birth to, was not used to being with his mom. This makes me so sad. He wouldn't sleep, eat, or anything without throwing a huge fit. I mean screaming at the top of his lungs in his crib for an hour or so before I gave in and went and got him. All of this fuss because he was more used to my mom, MIL, and sitter. Crazy.

I cried alot those first two weeks. I can honestly say that I thought I would get to nap, clean, read, and just chill too because I had no idea what it took to take care of Judah all day. After the initial shock wore off, Judah and I fell into a really great routine and everything got much easier. I was able to workout, clean, and do some projects around the house. I am just as tired as I was when I worked full time. Sometimes I feel more exhasuted then when I worked at a school, but it is so worth it.

 Now that I am a SAHM, I am able to do something that I didn't get to do before. Have a few minutes of "ME" time. After those first two weeks. I started working out again during the morning nap, and this changed my attitude for sure. Just having an hour to workout, changed my attitude. I felt healthier, more confident, and had more energy. I never accomplished this while working. I snuck in a 30 minute workout as school most days, but being able to workout an hour has really helped me in more ways than I can express. When I am in a bad mood or particularly irritable, my dad and Hayden always ask me, "Did you workout today?" Working out is my outlet. It makes me a better mom, and for sure a better wife. If you feel good about yourself, it improves your relationships tremendously.

I was talking to my friend Rachel a few days ago, and we were discussing how hard it can be to give up an income. I have to admit, before I had Judah I didn't think staying home would ever be an option, but after holding that beautiful baby boy for the first time. My heart was his, forever and always. That bond got even stronger after 3 months at home. I cried so much. The thought of leaving him was unbearable. When Hayden took him to my MIL's house my first day back to work, I sat in my bedroom and literally balled my eyes out. I couldn't breathe I was crying so hard. Hayden just took a piece of my heart to another person, and I just couldn't handle it. At work, I was miserable. He was all I thought about. I would watch videos of him, and look at pictures constantly. I liked to say I was too busy to think about him, but I had to pump every two hours for 15 minutes. He was on my mind all the time! By January, Hayden and I knew I wasn't going back next year. I just couldn't.

I am so thankful for Hayden's love and support. He is my biggest cheerleader. He always tells me my job is the hardest, and that he would not want to switch me!So we will make it work with one income, and we will have less, but watching Judah play and learn makes the loss of an income so worth it. I am so happy that I no longer hear from others, "Guess what Judah did today?" I hated that, I wanted to see everything first. I missed the first 9 months of his life. I regret it every single day. Being a mom is the most important job I will ever do. I want Judah to be a kind, loving, Christian man. He has a better chance of doing those things if I am the one doing the raising.

I am not trying to offend the women who work. Please don't think I am doing that. There are women out there who have to work, and my hat goes off to you. I was not able to juggle work with family. I ended up just being mediocore at everything. My life, in all aspects, has gotten so much better. My relationship with Hayden is significantly better. I am able to see him more and I appreciate him so much more for making my new job possible. We communicate better, spend more time together, and we are able to relax when Judah goes to bed because I finished "chores" earlier in the day. My staying home makes his life easier as well, so it has really improved our marraige.

My relationship with Judah is so different now too. I get to see him change every single day, and that just brings us closer. I get to pick him up from every nap, love on him before he sleeps, and see his sweet toothy smile every single day. I wouldn't give that up for all the money in the world. I really wouldn't. Being Hayden's wife and Judah's mom is a full time job, but it has the best reward. Love, family, and a merciful God who makes everything possible. That is all you need!

Here are few shots from his 9 month pictures!

My baby and me at his 9 month session (techincally he was 10 months old...shhh). I would do anything for this sweet baby boy. He is almost a year old, I just can't believe it!

Ripped in 30-Week 4

I have finished Week 4 of Jillian Michael's Ripped in 30 series, and let me just say "I loved it!" I worked through Jillian Michael's book "Making the Cut" twice before I got married and twice this past February, but this is the first video series I have finished all the way through. I can honestly say that every time I started a new week, by the end of that week the workout was significantly easier. Week 4 included, even though starting out I almost threw up. No lie. Ask Hayden.

I feel so great about myself for finishing Week 4. The reason why I love to work out is becuase I love the feeling of accomplishing something that I couldn't do previously. Day 1 is always the toughest, and there were numerious times this past month I wanted to quit, but I wanted to prove that I was strong enough to finish this workout. I didn't do it for anyone else but myself, but all of you kept me going on the days I wanted to quit. I guess it is my competitive nature, but I love to push myself and to win, and I feel like I won something this week. I kicked Week 4's butt this week, and I am so proud of myself.

I also tried something new this week...RUNNING! Shocker! I hate to run, and have said I never understood how people can just go run for miles and miles on end. I thought they were all crazy, but I tried and well I LOVED it. More on that later!

Recap of the week!


Exercise

I started Week 4 last Tuesday, July 10, and after the first circuit of cardio that was 30 seconds of Plie Hops,which is where you point your toes to the outside, squat down, and then jump into the air while keeping your toes pointed, followed by 30 seconds of  jumping jacks with a high kick, then repeating, I was literally drowning. I could not breathe. I swear Hayden thought I was dying.

Circuit 2 cardio was killer too, with burpies followed by cross kicks. Burpies is when you go down into plank, jump your feet back to your hands, and then jump in the air as high as you can! Cross kicks are ridiculous, but even worse after 30 seconds of burpies! Cross kicks is when you squat down and jump in the air and cross your feet before you come back down. I wanted to die, and I believe this is where the throwing up almost commenced. But I made it through it, and then added in 20 minutes on the elliptical.

This week I worked out Tuesday, video and elliptical, Wednesday, elliptical 30 minutes and volleyball that night, Thursday, video, Friday, video and elliptical, Saturday, off, Sunday, ran outside for 25 minutes, Monday, video and 30 minutes on elliptical, and finally Tuesday, video.

I was experiencing knee pain previously, but I haven't had any trouble since Wednesday. I am hoping it stays that way!

I played volleyball on Wednesday in a league Hayden and I are in. I had so much fun! I immediately become super competitive, and start playing like I would in a real game. I probably look ridiculous diving and rolling, but I can't help it! I just get so into it! But I will say, hitting the ground at 24 (25 in a month) feels much different than 18 or 19. I have a huge bruise on my hip and my leg, but hey I got it up!!!

Okay, Sunday I wanted to workout before church but wasn't feeling the video. So I thought to myself, "Self, you should try to run." Now I haven't ran in quite some time. Probably 3 years or so. I have done sprints but nothing over 30 seconds! I hate running, and always have, but after Sunday I realized I hate it because I have always started running when I was really out of shape. You know how when you start running after not working out for months, and you run for 3 minutes and want to throw up? I thought when I started out down my block that is what would happen to me too, but guess what? It was the exact opposite!

I ran to a nearby park and that took me about 11 minutes, I wasn't tired and kept a pretty good pace but thought I should probably run back home, I ran home and thought " I could keep running, but I have church", so I stopped. Honestly, I felt like I could just run forever! Insert Forest Gump quote here! I loved it so much! 25 minutes of just me, Justin Bieber, and One Direction. I felt like I could conquer the world. I am not kidding!

The videos have helped me so much with endurance that I was able to run, and actually enjoy it! I can't wait to do it again, but that will only happen on the weekends when Hayden can watch Judah. I mean I can run, but I don't think I could run while pushing a 25 pound baby...yet!

Diet

I actually did pretty well this week. I made some great meals! Zucchini Lasagna, Salmon Cakes with Mango Cilantro Salsa, and Garlic Chicken Kebabs with veggies. All of these recipes are from Paleo Plan. Here is the link! http://www.paleoplan.com/recipes/

I used my handy dandy Fitness Pal app, and stayed on track! I only think I went over on Thursday because of those STUPID Texas Roadhouse rolls!

Progress

I lost ONE pound this week! I weighed 134 when I woke up this morning! I also lost some inches from last week!

Last Week

July 9, 2012
Weight: 135
Bust: 34.5
Chest: 31.5
Waist: 29.5
Hips: 37
Right Thigh: 21.25
Left Thigh: 22
Right Arm: 10
Left Arm: 10.25

This Week
July 17, 2012
Weight: 134 ( 1 pound loss)
Bust: 33.5 (1 inch loss)
Chest: 31 (.5 inch loss)
Waist: 29 (.5 inch loss)
Hips: Same
Right Thigh: Same
Left Thigh: 21.5 (.5 inch loss)
Right Arm: Same
Left Arm: 10  (.25 inch loss)

I feel so great about my results this week! I am glad I started measuring because the scale doesn't always go down! I am a little bummed that my chest just keeps shrinking but they are fat, and they are the first thing to go! Grr!

I took some pictures today but they are really bad and won't come out clearly, so I will take some with my actual camera and post soon!

My review of Ripped in 30: Totally worth it! I am down 1 size, down 2 pounds, and more inches than were recorded this week! My body is tighter, healthier, and my self-esteem is much higher. There is no substitute for hard work and healthy eating. There are supplements and things you can take but at the end of the day, you are in control of your health and the body you want. No one else is at fault or can change it for you. So buy this DVD, get your weight, and make a grocery list. Just do it! 

Ripped in 30-Week 3: Is the end really in sight?

Well I finished Week 3 of Ripped in 30 last week, and it was such a great workout! That week was a little tougher than usual with the holiday right in the middle of my week! Then Hayden stayed home on Thursday, and that really threw me off! We slept until 12:00 p.m. because my mom came and got Judah, it was amazing!

Some pictures of my sweet family on July 4!

I don't usually do well when my schedule gets thrown off...I am a control freak for those of you who know me. Since I slept in and went out of town, I missed last Wednesday and Thursday of my workouts :(
I needed more than one pep talk from my hubby this week. I have been a little discouraged since I haven't been losing weight, so Hayden stepped in a put it all in perspective for me.

He said that I need to remember that there is an end to the Ripped in 30 DVD, there is not an end to working out and eating healthy. He said that I need to not focus so much of my happiness on my image, and that eventually my body, and looks will fade. At first I was offended by this, but he is right.

I constantly find myself thinking I will be happier when I reach a certain weight goal, or when I am a certain size. I have almost made myself my own idol...sounds weird but follow me.  By focusing so much on my food, weight, and body I am not staying focused on why I workout in the first place. Hayden reminded me of that. I don't want to go back to the place I was before my wedding, where food made me feel guilty. It is not a pretty place!

I am almost finished with Week 4, but first here is a recap from Week 3.

Exercise

I started Week 3 on Monday, July 2. This week was so much fun, and by that I mean super challenging for me! I worked out Monday, Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday. Then just did the elliptical on Sunday.

 There were these things called Rock and Roll Squats that I loved! You do a squat, drop to your butt, roll onto your back, do a reverse crunch, rock back on your feet, and then jump in the air!
The last circuit was focused completely on your shoulders, triceps, and biceps. You did pike push ups, tricep presses while laying on your side, and then tricep dips with one leg in the air! My arms were screaming!

Diet

I hate saying "diet" because I am not on one. I eat 1400 calories a day and just don't eat a bunch of crap. That is my diet! Do I slip up? Yes, all the time. Hence the pep talk from the hubby. I get down really easy when I lose control of my eating habits. Control freak remember? But, eating one bad meal doesn't mean you give up on the whole week. Missing two workouts this week and eating really bad on Wednesday, the 4th, could have ruined my whole week but I got back on the right track Friday.

Progress Pictures

Oh, and for next week I took some measurments and I am interested to see my progress after Week 4. I also discovered something encouraging! I looked at my measurements from when I got married. The "wedding body" is the goal I was working towards. Turns out, my measurements are pretty much the same, my weight is a bit higher, but my arms are smaller, my hips, and waist are the same. I was obsessed with reaching a goal I had already reached! Crazy. Anyway, here are the pictures from July 9, 2012, after I finished Week 3.  I know I am losing inches because my bathing suit fits much better, and my jeans and tank tops are hanging on me. I also feel so great when I work out. So if there is no difference in the pictures, or my weight, oh well!

I am finishing Week 4 on Tuesday, and it is killer!

Ripped in 30-Week 3: Focus on the Positive

I started Week 3 of Ripped in 30 yesterday, Monday July 2.Unfortunately, I barely made it through this workout, not because it was ridiculously hard (which is was by the way), but because I have encountered my first injury. On Sunday, I noticed my right knee was very stiff but I just assumed it was because I had been in black stilettos most of the day. By Sunday night, it was really starting to bother me. I have never been injured in all my years as an athlete. Sore, yes. A little tweak of an ankle here and there, yes. But nothing that kept me from working out or playing volleyball.

Yesterday,  I started the new workout not knowing what was coming, and the first exercise was bear crawls, and then walking prisoner lunges....yea, ouch. My right knee was screaming. If you drew a line down the center of my knee cap, that is exactly where it hurts. There is intense pressure, and it feels like it might explode. I should have stopped, but I didn't. I kept going, and by the end I hobbled to my freezer to get some ice. No ice packs, so I settled for a bag of frozen butternut squash!

Two 20 minute ice sessions yesterday, so we will see how today goes. I know I need to listen to my body, but I am scared that the answer is that I will have to take some time off. I am really dedicated to finishing this not only for myself but for all of you. I am pretty dissapointed, but I am hoping that it just goes away. What are the chances of that?

Week 2

Exercise

Week 2 was much harder than week 1. By the end of Week 1, the exercises became very easy, so I was anxious to move on to Week 2. In the first circuit of Week 2, after your 3 minutes of strength, you do 2 minutes of cardio. The cardio is 30 seconds of Plank Jacks, 30 seconds of Mountain Climbers. Repeat. I hate Mountain Climbers, always have and always will. So that is two minutes of being in the plank position, shoulders absolutely screaming! This never got completely easy, but by Saturday I could almost make it the full 2 minutes without relaxing in the position.

I love to push myself past what I thought my body could achieve. If I don't feel like I am going to DIE, than for me, the workout was not a success. That is how hard I like to push myself. That stupid saying everybody hates, "Go Hard or Go Home!", yeah that is me. Which is probably why my knee is killing me. So my point is, don't do this if you are going to half-***(whoops, sorry there is no substitute) it. Give it all you've got, there is no other way to workout.

Last week, I worked out Monday through Thursday, off Friday, worked out Saturday, off on Sunday. I did the 6 Week 6 Pack video twice to get to the 50 minute mark, and did the elliptical for the other three days. On my elliptical, I still do interval training. I do 3 minutes as fast as I can, and 1 minute at a slow pace but with the resistance set at about 4 or 5.



Diet

I honestly thought I did really well despite the circumstances this week. I had to eat out 3 times this week for birthdays and weddings. Thursday, Texas de Brazil. Friday, P.F Changs. Saturday, a wedding at a golf course. I tried to make better choices, and I think  I did pretty well. According to my handy dandy My Fitness Pal app, I didn't go over my calories. I didn't have bread, except for the crunchy things that go in the soup at P.F. Changs.

Unfortunately, I did not lose any weight this week. I was really discouraged by this yesterday morning. I felt like a failure. I really did. Yesterday, was a bad day for me. I didn't lose any weight, and my knee hurt. Ugh. Depressing day.

This week some of my meals were Blue Cheese Burgers, no bun, fajitas, no tortilla, cauliflower pizza, and chicken salad with avocado. All very delicious and grain free!

I really want to rock these 30 days, and every single day after that. Not losing weight felt like I failed, but the typical "Muscle weighs more than Fat"  thought came into my head. I know I am losing inches, but like an idiot I did not measure myself before I started. I can tell by my clothes that I am trimming down. I have decided that the scale doesn't matter, and I am not going to obsesses over the number. I feel good, and feel like I look good, so that is what I will focus on. I also think if we focus on a number then nothing will ever be good enough. Trust me, I have weighed less than I do now and I still wanted to be skinnier. So I am saying goodbye to the scale and focusing on more positive accomplishments. Like the fact that I can hold a plank while jumping my legs out and in, I can stand on one leg and do dumbell rows, I can do pushups while bringing my knee up to my armpit! I don't even think Hayden can do that...okay he probably can but still!

Progress Photos

I honestly can't believe I post photos of myself in a sports bra and spandex but I am doing it for all of you! I know there is a difference, I can see it definitely in the side view, and my love handles are getting smaller. Oh and my quads are getting serious. I love it! I am loving this! Stay tuned for Week 3! I loved Day 1 of Week 3, it was so hard!

June 25, 2012

July 2, 2012

July 2, 2012 Side View (A hint of Abs showing through :))

July 2, 2012 Fully Body ( I see you quads!) 

What Motivates You?

Last night I logged into my blog and I noticed a lady had updated her blog that I started following a few weeks ago, I never check them most of the time but this title caught my eye, " How to be an alcoholic and still lose weight *insert curse word here*". Excuse me?

This particular blog is about a woman who lost 60 pounds twice after each baby. Now I am not discounting what she did, I think it is amazing for anyone to lose that kind of weight on there own. My issue come in with how vulgar she is and yet her blog is famous! I mean thousands of followers. She gets 300+ emails a day. I started looking through her blog yesterday and while some post are encouraging about a runners high, and Ripped in 30, they are still filled with curse words, and she calls her readers some things I wouldn't say in private let alone on front of the whole world. Needless to say, I no longer follow her but now I am curious, " What motivates you?"

I do this blog to motivate others but I also do it for myself. You guys hold me accountable everyday and I am sure you don't even know it. I workout harder and eat better because I know if I get results maybe one other person will change their lifestyle for the better. All of you are motivating me everyday! My husband motivates me, my son's beautiful toothy smile, and of course a bikini! I am curious if just my results and ramblings motivate others? This thought brings me back to the other blog, she has advertising on her blog, and also does giveaways, and gives you her reviews on other topics. For example, she did a review on 50 shades of Grey.

Basically telling women if you have problems in the bedroom read this book! Can you believe it??? I am sure it would have the opposite effect if her husband knew what she was reading! How would you feel if you came in and saw your husband reading some kind of porn? Don't get it twisted that book is pornography and it is the same as a man reading a Playboy just with words instead of pictures. Now I am not saying I haven't read a romance novel, but I don't anymore because I now understand how inappropriate it is! So all the ladies out there, don't read the book! You want a love story? Go read Song of Solomon. For example, here is a few verses from Song of Solomon where Solomom admires his brides beauty.

Song of Solomon 4:3-7, " Your lips are like a scarlet thread, and your mouth is lovely. Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate behind your veil. Your neck is like the tower of David ...Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle, that graze among the lillies...You are altogether beautiful my love; there is no flaw in you."

Boom! 50 shades of whatever has nothing on this! Want to read more about the love you can have in a Godly marriage. Pick up your bible and read the rest, it gets even better!

Okay soap box over, stepping down now! Sorry that kind of went in the wrong direction but like I said I ramble! What I mean to say is, do I have to start talking about sex, porn, how to get drunk with no calories, and call you names to get you motivated to work out? If that's what you need? Please stop reading here! I am not going to sell out to get a following, I am hoping that just by being my imperfect self I can show others that anyone can change your body and mind for the better.

So I guess I will continue on this journey, helping anyone who wants it! By the way, thank you to the few of you that have texted or emailed me saying you are going to start Ripped in 30, it is an answered prayer. It makes me want to keep going to get one more person doing this with me :) God is in this, I can feel it! Also, if you have any suggestions on something you would like me to talk about please send me an email or comment!

If you want to keep up with me all you have to do is follow my blog, if you have a gmail it is pretty easy to follow me and you don't have to keep checking Facebook!

Technical Difficulties

I respond to all the comments and I thought the alerts I got in the comments section were able to be deleted, little did I know, if I delete them in my mailbox, it deletes it from the blog!! Double "GRRRR"! So I got your comments, responded, and then deleted them! Pretty smart, huh? Like is said I am figuring this out as I go!

I am going to do Day 4, of Week 2! Have a great day!

Ripped in 30- Week 2

I started Week 2 of Ripped in 30 Days this Monday, June 25, and let me just say my butt, obliques, and shoulders are on fire! I am sore, but I secretly love it :) I love it because I know I did something worth while today!

Some of my friends have asked me why I keep going back to Jillian Michaels' videos, books, ect. And the truth is because her workouts combine strength and cardio. You don't just stand there and do lunges. She takes it to the next level by doing something called "Pendulum Lunges with Bicep Extension" or "Sumo Squats with Triceps Extension." All her moves are compound moves, where you are working in the little muscles like shoulder and triceps with the big muscles like legs and butt. I am addicted to this stuff! Literally sweat pours down into my eyes and I kind of want to throw up, but I always finish!

Week 1

Exercise

I started last Monday, June 18, on Week 1. I started Week 2 this Monday. She recommends you do 5-6 days with at least one day of rest. I was bored by Friday, so I moved to Week 2. So here is proof that it works! I lost 1.2 pounds by Friday! I was so happy to see 135 pounds on the scale! I did that! I pushed myself, I watched what I ate, I sweat an hour 5 days this week so I will jump for joy over that pound! I feel great! I feel leaner already, more confident, and heck yea I'll say it, just a little bit sexier ( I am married! It is okay to say that ;)) Working out improves my daily life in so many ways, taking an hour to stay healthy, confident, and happy is worth it to me! I couldn't have done it without this blog, it keeps me accountable, so I have all of you to thank for that pound and that confidence!

Diet

I started using the My Fitness Pal App on my phone to track my food intake. I won't do it forever but it has helped me see how many calories are actually in a piece of breakfast sausage! Did you know 2 oz of breakfast sausage is 200 calories! So if you have 3 eggs at 70-90 calories each before you know if you may have eaten 500 calories ! That doesn't include the coffee creamier, butter, cheese, and pancakes I may have eaten! So right now I am in the learning phase of learning how much I can actually eat. I am not about to lose that hour workout to a doughnut and a sausage roll! So get the app, track your food, and lose that weight once and for all!

Struggles

I am not perfect and I do slip up! I am still working on keeping my weekends from ruining my week! I eat great all week and it seems like the weekends are such a struggle. This weekend we had a rehearsal dinner and a wedding. Italian food was the rehearsal dinner and I did okay be eating just the chicken of my chicken parmigiana. No bread! A small miracle! Now the wedding was a different story. I am not a sweets person (remember my obsession with thin crust pizza) but it was WEDDING CAKE! I tried to say no but I gave in and ate that delicious piece of strawberry cake...okay you caught me...I also ate some of Hayden's chocolate cake, some sixlets, flavored popcorn, and another handful of sixlets! Bad night! Don't judge me! So I am curious, how do you guys fight the weekend splurges? I am in need of some good tips :)

Progress Pictures

I really don't want to put this pictures up...like really don't want to, but you know what I am a normal woman. Size 6 on a good day with love handles and I am starting to be okay with that. God created me and I am perfect in His eyes and Hayden's no matter my size, although I do have shoulders like a linebacker (I swear I have the broadest shoulders but hey I think it makes my waist look smaller)!

So here we go!

June 18, 2012 136 pounds. I am not sure why this particular picture is such a bad quality, but I will try to do better next time. Oh and yes, I know I need a tan but I am against skin cancer and it is 100 degrees outside. Embrace my paleness!

 June 25, 2012. One week later, after finishing Week 1 of Ripped in 30.

I can see and feel the difference just this one week has made. I hope these pictures don't bother anyone but I thought about not posting them because I was scared of what people might think. Then I got over it! I did this to show all of you that all it takes is hard work and you can look and feel exactly how you want to. I have lost all my baby weight and I am close to my wedding weight, and I am normal person. Not a celebrity with a trainer and chef. You can do this! I would love for you to do it with me! Have a great week!

DIY: My Attempt at Being Creative

If you would of asked me a year ago if I liked to "craft" I would of said, " I am terrible at stuff like that!" Well, now that I am at home I have extra time and not very much extra money. So that is where the DIY comes in. No money to decorate...DO IT YOURSELF!

I have done a few things since summer started for me three weeks ago. The first one was a framed out peg board I made to organize my jewelry.

I went and bought a piece of pre-cut pegboard from Home Depot, grey spray paint, wood glue, and the hooks that you use with pegboard. Then I went to Hobby Lobby and got this wood that you can connect together to make a frame around a canvas. I think each piece was under $2.00. Also at a random trip to Wal-Mart that week, I picked up some picture hanging hooks to attach to each side of the frame. I did all these errands that first week home because Judah would not sleep and I refused to sit at home while he fussed and screamed. Being out seems to help calm him down.

I did not take pictures of the steps because I really had no idea I would ever write about any of my attempts at being creative, but here are the steps if you want to make one!

Step 1: Put canvas frame together attach to peg board with wood glue. After I attached it, I flipped it over and put books on it to help it set.
Step 2: Spray paint the entire pegboard and frame your desired color.
Step 3: Attach picture hooks to each side and hang on the wall.

Super easy! Now everything is where I can see it! Downside....I realized my jewelry is outdated and I need more!!!

My second project, was a chalkboard for my guest room. Which I also decorated while I was off that week. I know what you are thinking...aren't you spending too much money for someone about to lose a second income?? I thought that too, but honestly all of these projects were really simple and not very expensive!
Here is my chalkboard that I created using an old and ugly painting I had from Goodwill. Make sure if you do this, you buy a painting that was done on something hard enough to write on!

Sorry these pictures are so horrible! I took them with my phone :( The steps required for this are so easy it is ridiculous! I also made one for my husband's mom for her birthday!

Step 1: Paint chalkboard paint onto the surface vertically. Let dry 1 hour. Paint chalkboard paint onto the surface horizontally.
Step 2: Once the chalkboard paint is dry use painters tape to tape off the chalkboard part so you don't get any other paint color on it.
Step 3: Choose your color for the frame and paint away!

My whole house is teal, grey, black, and yellow. in many different combinations!

My third project was very difficult! I had no idea painting chevron stripes would include so much measuring and touch-ups! I love the way it looks but I had to have my accountant hubby come in and help because you have to make sure all the stripes are even at the points and evenly spaced apart! Yuck! I would check other blogs or Pinterest to get the steps :) I finished the whole thing only to peel the tape up to find my grey paint had leaked under the tape. Sad face! I had to sit there with a tiny paintbrush and repaint the yellow part with a darker yellow by hand. Not my favorite way to spend two hours, but hey I think it looks alright!

This last one is my favorite because it literally took 6 minutes to do both of them! I love photos, absolutely love them. Most interior design does not include mass amounts of photos, but I don't care! I love having pictures around, and with these photos I was able to do something a little different that spiced up my wall of frames. DIY photo canvases! Getting a photo printed on a real canvas can be very expensive, and the faux ones they do at Wal-Mart are not that great. So I stole this off Pinterest and went to work!
Here is what you will need:
Mod Podge
Black Paint
Canvas
Photo
Two Brushes
Step 1: Paint the edges of the canvas, and about half an inch inside the edges of the canvas.

Step 2:Apply a pretty decent amount of Mod Podge to the canvas and the back of your photo. (Make sure your black paint is dry, you don't want it to get on your mod podge brush).

Step 2: Press your picture down using a wash cloth. It glides easier and helps you not get the Mod Podge everywhere.

Step 4: Seal the picture by apply the Mod Podge in the same direction over the picture and the edges. It dries clear, and glossy which makes it look great! Here is what mine looked like!

 I love this picture! I am doing two from each of Judah's professional pictures he has had this year at newborn, 3, 6, 9, and 12 months!

See even the least creative people can create some awesome stuff in a short amount of time! I love everything I have done, and I think it has made my rental feel more like a home! Good Luck!

Ripped in 30 Days-Just the Beginning

If you read my previous post about how I battled the bulge the first time, you would see that I am now lucky enough to do it all over again! Unlike before, I am older, wiser, and have a lot less free time than I did when I was 21 years old. This go round, I had a full-time job, a husband, and a sweet baby boy. An hour and a half to work out? Yeah right! Not going to happen! So here is how I am doing it! Yes, you read that right. I am still in the process! Losing baby weight does not happen overnight or even in 6 months. I gained 30 pounds, and pushed out a baby...it changes you...and your body! Remember how I said I am older and wiser now? I have learned a few things since college about food, and I am going to tell you have I have changed my eating habits. No more Lean Cuisines!

I don't know if I thought my body was going to go right back to the way it was, but I did absolutely nothing to lose this weight until February. Judah was already 6 months old. I have my excuses like going back to work, waking up countless times a night, and still wanting to see my husband. But one day, I just realized I was so tired all the time, I was grouchy all the time, and I was so down on myself. All these things do not do great things for your marriage. We were already adjusting to the new baby, Hayden did not need a depressed and unhappy wife. I needed to start working out, and I knew it. I think it is important to do something for yourself, and working out is one of the best things you can do.

 Also, I want to say to all of you who are reading this that exercise is not a means to an end, it is a way of life. I promise you that you can reach your goal weight, and stop exercising and you will not only see a big change in your body but also a change in your overall attitude. Exercise makes you eat better, feel better, and for me it makes me feel so accomplished. Every single time I complete my workouts, I feel empowered. So make sure you are doing this knowing that while there is an end to the excess weight, there is no end to living a healthy lifestyle!

I started working out with my good friend, Jillien Michaels in February. I had two breaks a day during the school day, one for lunch and one for planning. I was a P.E. teacher, there was not a whole lot of planning. I used it to work out. I got my book, my 5 pound weights, a jump rope, and a ball and went to work! That is all you need, Oh and a space to sprint! Luckily, I am in the gym already so it was pretty easy for me to find the space. First day, I almost threw up. Not joking, not trying to be funny, I ran into my office to hurl my guts up. It didn't happen, unfortunately, but I made it. Day 1 Done!!! I progressed through the book, and a co-worker decided she wanted in on the workouts. I can't tell you what a blessing she was to me! Thanks, Michelle! We worked out on my lunch break for 4 weeks, before some comments were made and we had to move it to the morning! Here is where sacrifice comes in! As a mom, sleep is so hard to give up because you are already sleep deprived. I had to get up earlier, wake Judah up earlier, but it was so worth it. Some of you may have thought, "It was easy for you, you are a gym teacher. you are already in the clothes, and can be sweaty all day!". Let me tell you, it was not easy. I could have been sleeping, cruising the Internet, chatting up my friends, but I used to sweat off that weight!


Anyway, we started working out at 8:00 a.m. every morning with maybe one day off. She held me accountable and I am so thankful to her. She pushed me and was so great to workout with. I will miss her! By the end of the school year on June 4, I was down 9 pounds from February! Heck yea! My skinny jeans fit, I don't mind a bathing suit, and I feel awesome! I know Hayden noticed not only my weight loss, but also my attitude. Helps your marriage when you feel good about yourself!


Diet

I don't like that word. It makes me feel deprived instantly. Before, I ate alot of Lean Cuisines, hamburger helper with turkey, low fat everything, low carb everything, and while it worked I have a new attitude towards food. I eat mostly a fruit, vegetable, and meat diet. I eat between 1200-1400 calories a day, with the help of Fitness Pal. Get this app, you can track everything you eat and all your exercise. I love it. Anyway, Hayden came home one day and said I think we should stop eating carbs. Um, excuse me! I don't think so! I love all things that are crunchy, salty, and toasted. Please, no! But Hayden explained his reasons, and they seemed valid. It is called the Primal Diet, look it up. Pretty interesting. Basically, you stop eating processed foods, and carbohydrates, and you cut back on dairy. Going back to eating the way we did before big business made it cheaper to eat a Big Mac than it did to by 1 head of broccoli. Eating this way has completely cured the crashes in the day for me. I don't just get completely starving, and binge eat. I am pretty stable. So we cook mostly things that will go bad if you don't eat them. My rule, if it can stay in your fridge/pantry for more than a week, don't eat it! I think it is important to fuel your body properly. If you feed it a double cheeseburger, fries, and a coke, it is not going to want to go run for 30 minutes. Take care of your body, don't put junk in it day in and day out. I am not saying I don't splurge because I do. I think you have to in order to stay on track. My splurge is a thin crust pepperoni pizza with jalapenos and ranch. 4 pieces, no more no less! I try not to beat myself up if I have a bad weekend, I mean it is one day. Get over it, and start fresh on Monday!

Typical day for me right now.

Breakfast: 3 eggs
Lunch: Turkey roll up w/cheese, an apple, almonds. Or leftovers which is usually a meat and a vegetable. For example, the other day we make dijon/honey chicken thighs with grilled corn. Awesome!
Snack: Almonds/blueberries/4-5 slices of turkey
Dinner:Last night we made hamburger patties with asparagus. Delicious!
LOTS OF WATER! I am talking like 90 oz! Yes, I visit the ladies room alot!



Workouts

I am doing Ripped in 30 days with my friend, Amy. I just finished Day 5. It is about 30 minutes start to finish. When I am done I either do her 6 pack in 6 weeks video which is 25 minutes, or I get on my elliptical for 20 minutes. That is what I have done for five days now, and I already feel so different from Monday. What kicked my butt Monday, was easier on Friday! So help me stick with it! If you would like more information on the Primal Diet I can point you in the right direction, or if you want do embark on this healthy lifestyle with me and Amy just send me a comment! I would love to encourage you and support you in your journey! Also, before pictures are coming!

My hope at the end of this 30 days is that I feel accomplished, and happy with myself. I am addicted to pushing myself. I want to see the transformation not only because like every girl I want to have a nice body, but because I want to see if I can do it. When it is all over, I will probably start over but maintaining is so much easier than losing! Remember, it is just the beginning!

Have a great weekend!

Battling Big Bird Syndrome

What is Big Bird Syndrome? Well, I made it up to describe my battle with always carrying weight in my midsection! I have always had normal legs, normal arms, but for some reason I just carry weight in my midsection. I know this is nothing new, and most women would say they have the same issue. The thing I hate most about this disease, is the love handles. I hate them, hate them, hate them! Jeans don't look right, so you have to wear loose tops which just make you look bigger. The dreaded cycle!

I am not going to sit here and tell you I am fat because I am not. I know most of you started reading this and thought to yourself, "Really? Is she going to sit here and say she is fat? Snooze fest!". So no, I am not going to tell you I think I am fat. Do I have days where are I look in the mirror and hate what I see? Yes, but what girl doesn't? The good news is those days are fewer and far between these days. Why? Well, I got off my butt and changed it! How? I am going to tell you, but first I think I should start from the beginning and tell you how the disease started! Side Note: All of you do know I am not talking about a real syndrome right? Okay, great. Just making sure.

I lived ages 14-19 in spandex. Not because I love to walk around with butt hanging out, but because I played volleyball year round for 5 years. My parents spent tons of money on travel volleyball, in hopes that it would provide a volleyball scholarship. It didn't but hey, I stayed in shaped and rocked those spandex shorts! And yes, I still have a bunch of size small spandex shorts. I could not part with them. Moving on to the summer after I played one semester of volleyball at Angelo State. Those workouts were tough, really tough. They started at 5:30 a.m. with weights and running, then we had volleyball practice in the afternoon. Tough, but I loved it. Unfortunately, they offered me $300.00 to stay for the next season. No, I did not miss a zero. That's it. $300.00. I wanted to say, "Gee, thanks for paying for one accounting book!", but I didn't. I graciously declined, and went home for the summer. Probably one of  the saddest things ever. Giving up a sport you ate, breathed, and slept for almost 7 years is hard. There were tears, but I had to get a bigger scholarship or a job. Now here is where the weight gain comes in.

My sophomore year, I started waiting tables....at a bar. I worked 4 shifts a week at Buffalo Wild Wings. They were long and very late shifts, followed by being starving and taking home wings, chicken tenders, or queso. See where the weight gain came from? I didn't drink, I just ate myself to 15 pounds heavier. After that year, I weighed 155 pounds. I stayed that way until my senior year of college. In those two years, I tried alot of things to lose weight, not eating(never worked because well I am a fat girl inside and I love a good pizza), working out(by that I mean a run here and there and two years worth of gym memberships at Gold's Gym). I am the one on the left, and that tiny girl was my roommate my freshman year, Jessie. Big face, arm fat, and too embarrassed to get a belly shot.

Senior year started and I took walking at my athletic credit. Don't judge, this class jump started my weight loss. I would go to walking class, and then head straight to Gold's Gym to finally get some use out of that stinking place. Did I change the way I ate? Nope. Not at all. I thought I did, but lets just say I still ate Ranch on just about everything. By December, I had lost 5 pounds. 4 months, 5 pounds. Not exactly a big accomplishment but hey, it was progress. After Christmas break, my friend Amy and I booked a trip to Florida with our boyfriends. Time to get serious, it is bikini time!

Now, here is where I tell you the BIG BIG SECRET! Are you ready? Here it comes...eat less, workout more! Exciting stuff right? Sorry, I know you wanted a remedy for the syndrome that was easy, but there is not one. Just hard, hard work. I started drinking a smoothie every single day for breakfast for the first few weeks. I know my roommates got so sick of seeing half a purple smoothie in our sink every morning. That first week, I had two smoothies a day. One for breakfast, one for lunch. Just to jump start the weight loss. Was I hungry all the time, yes! The good news is, that didn't last long. Once you train your body to eat less, it gets a whole lot easier. I ate 4-5 times a day and just made healthy adjustments to my meals. Picture of Hayden and I in Florida. Having a tan obviously helps, but I weigh 140 pounds right here.

For those of you who don't know, Hayden and I started dating our senior year of high school. I am pretty sure it was the spandex that hooked him, but he was with me through all of this yo-yo dieting. We ate dinner together every day, which involved a bunch of hamburger helper, spaghetti, and sandwiches.  I just substituted turkey for ground beef, Balsalmic Vinegar dressing for Ranch (super hard), and started eating half of what Hayden ate instead of the same amount! That is it, no special pill, supplement, or powder that I sprinkled on my food. I just cut back, and the weight came off. I averaged about 1-2 pounds a week.

I worked out 5 days a week, sometimes six. I would do 45 minutes to an hour of cardio, followed by weights. Thankfully, Gold's Gym had a women's section of the gym, so I was able to mostly workout completely alone. I worked for the weight loss every single day, and I still do. By spring break, I was down 10 pounds! 140 pounds and rocking a bikini for the first time where I was not embarrassed. It was a great feeling. I felt great but I wasn't done.

Graduation, new apartment, and a new job. Recipe for weight gain and loss of your exercise routine. Thankfully, my apartment had a gym! I kept it up! Then I got engaged and married in 4 months! Wedding dress time! I kicked it up a notch, and started Jillien Michael's book, "Making the Cut."

It is a book with 30 days of workouts, and meals. It kicked my butt! If you think you are in shape, go pick up this book. It is $12.00 at Barnes and Noble. Every workout is 5 circuits, with 5 to 6 exercises per circuit. Usually, at the end of each circuit there are sprints, jump rope, or butt kicks. These workouts are what I love best! My heart rate is up the whole time! That is why I love her! You are lifting weights, and doing your cardio at the same time. Lots of compound moves, like doing squats and a military press at the same time!You start off by doing all 5 circuits once, then when your endurance improves you go through it twice. She tells you to get up to an hour of elevated heart rate a day. So if the circuit took me 42 minutes, I got my butt on the elliptical, treadmill, or bike for 18 minutes. No exceptions! By my wedding in March, I was down 10 more pounds, and super toned if I do say so myself. So that is it folks! I lost 25 pounds and it took a little over a year. Honeymoon shot. 130 pounds.

 I kept it off too...until I went and got myself pregnant in November 2010!

Gained 30 pounds!

I breastfed, and that is it. No working out, no dieting, and by December I was sitting at 145 pounds. I lost 20 pounds pretty quick but let me just say 145 pounds after pregnancy is not the same as 145 pounds after you worked to get it off in the gym. Not toned. I jiggle, and still do, in places I never have before. But hey, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, but just might not eat as much Panda Express. Okay, you caught me. I probably still will! I started working out again February 6, 2012. I was sick of not liking the way I looked, and felt and lets be honest...I wanted to fit in my clothes!! Stay tuned for how I cured Big Bird Syndrome this time around with the help of this blog and some really great friends!

To blog or not to blog....

To blog or not to blog?

I was talking to my mother-in-law, Debbie, yesterday while we were over there celebrating Father's Day, and she asked me if I felt like I wanted to go back to work or if I liked staying home. I told her no I don't want to work but I do need a hobby, or something to do other than making random crafts (not that I don't love it because I am really enjoying it). She said, "You should blog!". I told her I don't have anything to say anymore because I started the blog to keep people updated about my kidney donation and since I cannot donate, I just don't see the point. She told me she thinks I am hilarious, and loves how I tell stories and so here it goes, funny or not, I guess I will keep blogging :)

I am not sure what I will say but I think my life could be a reality show, if you include ALL of my family members. My siblings and I have been saying that for years. We would all be sitting around going, "Seriously, we could be rich if someone would just film the crap that happens to us!" If you have been following my blog, you would know that my dad needs a kidney transplant, and my sister and I both went through the entire testing process and many re-tests, only to find out we have kidney issues. We both have been poked, scanned, and had to cart around ice chests to hold our urine for 24 hours! Sound TV worthy? So I guess I will press on with my blogging, and hope that it gives some of you a laugh, maybe a tear, and above all else I just hope that it brings a little bit of happiness to your day :)

Moving on to my first or second blog post that has absolutely nothing to do with kidneys! But I promise, I will keep you all updated on my dad's progress. As of now, my brother is the same blood type, but we are not really sure when his testing process will begin because he has a bunch of camps, and a baby on the way, and he lives in Missouri. I  know he wants to donate, but he has obligations, number one being his little family. So I am not exactly sure how all of that will play out, but I will let you know.

Okay now I will actually move on to a blog post that has nothing to do with kidneys :) Yesterday was Father's Day! Hayden will probably kill me for this picture, but it is one of my favorites! I am so lucky to have Hayden as a husband. I know most women say that but I am not saying that because Hayden reads my blog...because I am pretty sure he doesn't! Hayden is one of those men that is always happy. Always! Nothing really upsets him, which is the total opposite of me. I like to think I am the right amount of emotional and rational but the truth is, I am an emotional basket case! So I guess we balance each other out. Hayden always gives me a kiss and hug when he gets home, and not out of obligation but because he is just super loving. He always says thank you, and that he appreciates everything I do. He will help me with anything, as long as I ask. He tells me all the time he is not a mind reader, so if I don't ask it won't happen :) He supported me when I told him I was miserable and did not want to continue to work. We knew I would eventually stay home, but he encouraged me to stay home and raise Judah. He is my biggest cheerleader, and my shoulder to cry on. I love him and the man and father he has become. We will be hitting the 8 year mark this July, and I love him more everyday.

Our Father's Day was jam packed with seeing family but I don't mind because I am lucky to have my dad and Hayden's dad around! We started our morning off at 1:00 a.m, yes that's right you heard me, 1:00 a.m.! Judah had a hard time going to sleep, he tossed for about an hour. This never happens at night, during the day ABSOLUTELY and more on that later, but at night he is usually out like a blind kid playing dodgeball.....not funny? Sorry, had to try and throw in a good joke, but according to Hillary and Chris I am not very funny, so I will keep those little jokes to myself! Anyway, Judah finally fell asleep about 10:00 p.m., and at 1:00 a.m. he woke up screaming bloody murder. Not the scream that means, "Hey mom come pick me up", but the scream that means he is about to have a complete meltdown, and he did! I picked him up and he lost it! After a few minutes, of trying to calm him down, I resorted to a bottle which we haven't had to do in 5 months. Not even that calmed him down, he cried through sucking down the bottle.Once he drank the bottle, he cried for about 30 more minutes before zonking out, and then woke up promptly at 6:30 a.m.! Oh Joy!



We let daddy sleep, it was Father's Day after all. Hayden woke up about 8:30 a.m. after Judah was back down for his nap. Hayden sat in his new rocking chair and drank his coffee while I went back to sleep! By the way, Hayden got his gift Saturday morning because I am terrible at hiding gifts! Seriously, I am an idiot. I got him a rocking chair from Cracker Barrell, and did not think to pull cash out first so he wouldn't know what I had bought him. Hayden is an accountant, he checks the bank account everyday to make sure we are on "budget". So Saturday morning, I asked him if he wanted his gift early, and he did this smile with his answer that let me know he already knew what I had bought him. I was SO mad! But after further thought, I realized it was my own fault! Judah made Hayden a painting! It involved many tears from both of us! Judah hated it! He cried the whole time because he wanted to eat the paint!

Pretty funny! This Father's Day was a little emotional for me towards the end of the day. It was my husband's first Father's Day, and I think Judah and I did a good job showing him how much we love him for taking care of us. Then as I was leaving dinner with my dad, I thought to myself, "I really hope this isn't my last Father's Day with my dad." I know it is a morbid thought, but I just couldn't help it. When I went to bed I prayed that God would save my dad and find him a kidney because I am not ready for him to be gone. I know I should have prayed that God's Will would be done in the situation but I couldn't. Happy Father's Day Daddy, thank you for being a man that I could look up to. Thank you for showing me what to look for in a husband and father for my child. Thank you for being you and never changing :)

Committee Decision: May 25, 2012

Originally, when the committee met on April 26 they decided my urine test was an “undercatch” because it did not have 24 hours of urine, but instead of having me do it again they had me do the Glofil test which came back normal. When they met on May 11, one of the doctors on the committee looked at my urine catch again and noticed that my protein was 220, which is close to the cutoff of 250. He thought that was strange since it was an undercatch. So Kristi called me and said I needed to do the urine catch yet AGAIN.  She explained to me that high protein levels can be the first sign of kidney damage. It means that my kidneys are not catching the protein and filtering it out, but that they are spilling it into my urine. I was very upset when she said I had to do it again. I felt angry at her and upset that I still did not have an answer for my dad.

Mother’s day was that Sunday the 13^th, and as you know Hillary had to go to the hospital. So since I was already there, I got my bucket and did the test on Tuesday, May 15. This test is so annoying because if you leave you have to take the bucket with you and keep it on ice….gross. I turned in the results Wednesday morning, and had my blood taken.

Thursday afternoon about 1:00 p.m. Kristi called me and said that my protein level was 363, far greater than the cutoff of 250. I was shocked and speechless. I just sat there and started crying. She told me that the committee surprises her sometimes but she was 90% sure they would deny me based on my protein levels. Then she said that my kidneys may never fail, but with high protein levels like mine I need to be in the care of nephrologists pretty much for the rest of my life. I am so devastated with the news. Not for myself but for my dad. I am sure at that moment the only one who knew exactly how I felt was my sister and she was in the hospital.

I can’t explain the feelings I am experiencing right now. I was of course very scared to do the surgery and almost backed out because of the fear, but I spoke with my brother and he made things very clear for me. He said I have a great opportunity to trust God like I have never trusted Him before, and that if I back out and keep my kidney then I am trying to control things that are not in my control. This was on Wednesday before I found out I was not able to donate. On Thursday, before I found out I couldn’t do the surgery, I was feeling very much at peace with the decisions to go through with the surgery and then it all just changed. I know God is in control but I am very scared for my dad. He will stay on the transplant list for now, and will stay on it until he gets one from the list or from another person who is willing to be a living donor.

So now I am going to make a plea for all the people out there who are waiting for organs. Please become a donor. It is so easy, all you do is check a box when you get your license or you can sign up online. There are thousands of people waiting and dying. We can change that. You don’t need your earthly body when you die, why not save someone’s life? Someone’s dad, mother, or even child? Or if you want, you can become a living donor. You know exactly what to expect, I have chronicled it here for you. Please think about it, pray about it, and make your decision. If you would like information, I am sure I could get it for you. If you would like to help my dad, you have to have type O blood. I can give you any information you need from Kristi.

Thank you so much for following my story, and my dad’s and Hillarys. It is the end for Hillary and I, but I hope it isn’t the end for him. I believe God has a plan and I am praying it is to keep him around 20 more years. Thanks so much for reading.

Hillary's Hosptial Stay

This past Sunday, Mother’s Day, my mom, my brother, Chris, and Hillary were all at my house. We were all about to leave to go our separate ways but Hillary said she had to go to the bathroom first. A few moments later, she called for my mom and me to come into the bathroom. She was peeing blood and in immense pain in her back. She was unable to walk or stand up without being in intense pain. When she tried to urinate again we saw that she was passing blood clots. My mom and I took her to the hospital. This was around 3:00 p.m.

We took Hillary to the emergency room at Baylor All Saints where she had her surgery. Thankfully, there was no one there and we only waited a few minutes before she was taken back into a room.
Once she was in the room they did another urine sample and took her vital signs. Her urine sample was only blood. They started giving her morphine and something for nausea because the morphine was making her very sick to her stomach. I don’t know what they did with her urine and blood samples but they came back and said she would need to do a CT scan. A CT scan is the test were they insert the dye to see how your kidneys are filtering. The tech in the radiology lab said there was definitely something going on with her right kidney. Her right kidney was the kidney that they repaired on April 12.

Around 9:30 p.m. the ER doctor came back and said her kidney was filling with blood caused by a hemorrhage in the top of her kidney. I was not back there for this part but Hillary said he really scared her because he made it sound like she may lose her kidney. So the reason why she was passing blood clots is because she was bleeding into her kidney. At this point, she was not able to urinate on her own because the blood was blocking her kidney. Anyway, back to the doctor. The ER doctor said he would call her kidney doctor, Dr. Gould, and see what he wanted to do. Dr. Gould said he did not want anyone to operate her touch her kidney until he could come in the morning and look over her scans with the radiologist. He said her vitals were stable, so to keep her there until he could come in the morning.

Hillary was very scared and overwhelmed but she handled it well. On top of all of it, she was getting very nauseous from the pain medication so she was throwing up frequently. I felt so bad for her. I know she was scared, and was unsure of what the outcome of all this would be but her family was with her and I think that helped a little. We were all there. Tyler, my dad, my step -mom, Sonja, my mom, Chelsea, and her boyfriend, Cameron, and Natalie.

Monday, Dr. Gould came in and said he would be inserting a stint to open up her ureter to allow the blood to pass into her bladder. After the stint was put in, she started to slowly feel better. The pressure in her bladder and the pain in her kidneys started to improve. Tuesday she started to look much better and by Wednesday she was ready to go home for sure and I am sure her fiancé, Tyler, and my mom were too. They stayed with her all day and night.

Wednesday, she started to only urinate a rusty colored which from my understanding means she is passing old blood not new blood. This means that the bleeding has stopped. They do not know what caused it. They said it could be a hereditary, a trauma, or just a freak accident. Who knows, but I am so thankful she is getting better.

Today, Thursday, she was released to go home. I am not sure the details but I know she won’t be able to do much for a while but they think the bleeding has stopped. Thank you all for your continued support and prayers for Hillary. He was listening, as of now she is fine and going home. God is good J

My First Mother's Day

With Mother's Day coming up I thought I might write something that did not have to do with the surgery. I hope you enjoy it!

This is me with my son, Judah. He is only 6 days old in this picture. I cannot believe he is already 9 months old. These past 9 months have been the most rewarding days of my life. Being a mother is something I always wanted. I remember telling people the only thing I wanted to do when I grew up was to get married and have children. As time went on, culture convinced me that I needed to have a career in order to feel like I had accomplished something in my life. I remember sitting in the airport about to leave for our honeymoon, and Hayden and I had an arguement about me working once we had children. I told him I wanted to have a career and accomplish "things" before I had children and that I did not want to stay home. Hayden can be very convincing but at the time I thought having children meant I had to give up what I wanted to do.

Fast forward 9 months, I found out I was pregnant one semester into my first teaching job. I started wanting children pretty much immediately after I got a job. I felt since we had two stable incomes we should start our family. Hayden was hesistant and said we should keep waiting so we could pay off our debt, but I had my mind made up! I wanted a baby and I wanted one now! 1 month later I found myself counting days while I was doing my lunch duty at school. It was the Wednesday before we were about to leave for Christmas break. All day I kept counting and thinking "Holy crap....I think I am pregnant". I went home, took a pregnancy test. The digital kind. I bought them the month before because I thought I was pregnant. When I wasn't pregnant it immediately blinked "not pregnant." This time it blinked for what felt like an eternity. Maggie was sitting next to me on the bathroom floor as I stared at the test. "Pregnant!" Immediate tears started streaming down my face as I held Maggie rocking back and forth. Hayden was not home and I didn't know what time he would be home. I called him to check and he immediatley knew something was up. I said nothing, and he kept asking. So I blurted it out, "I am pregnant!" He drove straight home. I think we were both in shock like everyone is at first, but we got used to the idea. I got used to it much faster than him but when your belly is growing it is easier for you to accept that you are about to be a parent!

Judah Daniel Slack was born on August 18, 2011. We were in love. We had no idea what this journey was going to be like, but we were excited. Being Judah's mom is my biggest accomplishment, I know that now. It does not matter if I have a career, raising Judah is my career. He is my job now, and I would not have it any other way. Raising him to be a godly, respectful, loving man will be my greatest accomplishment.

I stayed home with Judah for 12 weeks. I loved every minute of it. I know there were days I wanted to rip my hair out but he really is the best baby. Being able to take care of him those 12 weeks was such a blessing, and I couldn't have done it without the support of my wonderful husband. I was not paid for the last 6 weeks of it, and I was worried about missing work but Hayden told me he wanted me to be with Judah and that Judah is the most important thing. Like I said, he is wonderful. I have such a godly husband. Judah is so lucky to have him as a dad.

Returning to work was very hard for me. I begged Hayden to let me resign because I couldn't think about leaving him with other people without bursting into tears. I knew he would be okay with others but he is my son and I wanted to raise him. I knew I would miss out on smiles, laughs, crys, and rocking him to sleep. I was a mess, but I committed to finish the year, so I returned to work but I knew I would only be finishing the year. Hayden and I agreed I would finish the year and then I would stay home. I told my principal in February. I know it was the right decision.

There are of course people who keep telling me I will be bored, I will want to come back in a year, or I will go crazy. To those people I say thank you for your opinion but secretly I think, "where are your priorities"? I want Judah to be the man I want him to be. How can he be that if I am not raising him? You cannot rely on daycare workers, teachers, or family to teach your kids what you want to teach them. Don't get me wrong, I know there are people who don't have a choice and I applaud them for their hard work. Working and taking care of Judah is very hard for me. I have been miserable. So to the women who work full time and have families you are amazing! But if you have the chance, and the money I think you should raise your children. God created women to raise their children. No one can raise Judah as well as I can. That being said, I am so thankful for my mom, mother-in-law, and sitter for helping me through this year. I don't know where I would be without them.

I so enjoy being a mother. I enjoy every bottle, every giggle, and even wrestling those little(ok he is not so little) legs while I try and change his diaper. The love I have for Judah is indescribable. Hayden and I look at him and still can't believe how much we love an adore him. I thank Hayden all the time for giving me this wonderful baby. I still tear up when I hold him at night when he is sleeping, my heart overflowing with love for this beautiful boy. I cannot wait to watch him grow up...ok I can. I hate that he is growing up. I absolutely hate it. Where is my tiny baby boy??? He is already crawling, eating finger foods, and trying to communicate with me. I love this little boy! Here are some pictures of my handsome boy.  Happy Mother's Day everyone!