I saw this a few days in the "Humor" section of Pinterest. I don't think it is very funny, but it made me think. When you tell people that you are a SAHM they immediately envy you or they immediately judge you. This might be because they wish they could see their kids more, or they judge you because they think you have it so easy, and you probably lay around crafting and sleeping all day! Now I do complete a craft or two, but there is definitely no sleeping :)
My first thoughts after that first few days at home were, "Holy crap, what did I get myself into?" I am not kidding, that first two weeks was exhausting, emotional, and a huge adjustment. Taking care of Judah ALL day is nothing like taking care of him two hours at night, and with help on Saturday and Sunday. NOTHING.
Trust me, my full-time job was not near as hard at chasing a crawling baby who was now crying half the time because he wasn't used to being with me. Dealing with 30+ sixth graders every period was way easier! I knew I was making the right decision to stay home just based on how Judah acted when I was with him for a few days straight. My son, the baby I gave birth to, was not used to being with his mom. This makes me so sad. He wouldn't sleep, eat, or anything without throwing a huge fit. I mean screaming at the top of his lungs in his crib for an hour or so before I gave in and went and got him. All of this fuss because he was more used to my mom, MIL, and sitter. Crazy.
I cried alot those first two weeks. I can honestly say that I thought I would get to nap, clean, read, and just chill too because I had no idea what it took to take care of Judah all day. After the initial shock wore off, Judah and I fell into a really great routine and everything got much easier. I was able to workout, clean, and do some projects around the house. I am just as tired as I was when I worked full time. Sometimes I feel more exhasuted then when I worked at a school, but it is so worth it.
Now that I am a SAHM, I am able to do something that I didn't get to do before. Have a few minutes of "ME" time. After those first two weeks. I started working out again during the morning nap, and this changed my attitude for sure. Just having an hour to workout, changed my attitude. I felt healthier, more confident, and had more energy. I never accomplished this while working. I snuck in a 30 minute workout as school most days, but being able to workout an hour has really helped me in more ways than I can express. When I am in a bad mood or particularly irritable, my dad and Hayden always ask me, "Did you workout today?" Working out is my outlet. It makes me a better mom, and for sure a better wife. If you feel good about yourself, it improves your relationships tremendously.
I was talking to my friend Rachel a few days ago, and we were discussing how hard it can be to give up an income. I have to admit, before I had Judah I didn't think staying home would ever be an option, but after holding that beautiful baby boy for the first time. My heart was his, forever and always. That bond got even stronger after 3 months at home. I cried so much. The thought of leaving him was unbearable. When Hayden took him to my MIL's house my first day back to work, I sat in my bedroom and literally balled my eyes out. I couldn't breathe I was crying so hard. Hayden just took a piece of my heart to another person, and I just couldn't handle it. At work, I was miserable. He was all I thought about. I would watch videos of him, and look at pictures constantly. I liked to say I was too busy to think about him, but I had to pump every two hours for 15 minutes. He was on my mind all the time! By January, Hayden and I knew I wasn't going back next year. I just couldn't.
I am so thankful for Hayden's love and support. He is my biggest cheerleader. He always tells me my job is the hardest, and that he would not want to switch me!So we will make it work with one income, and we will have less, but watching Judah play and learn makes the loss of an income so worth it. I am so happy that I no longer hear from others, "Guess what Judah did today?" I hated that, I wanted to see everything first. I missed the first 9 months of his life. I regret it every single day. Being a mom is the most important job I will ever do. I want Judah to be a kind, loving, Christian man. He has a better chance of doing those things if I am the one doing the raising.
I am not trying to offend the women who work. Please don't think I am doing that. There are women out there who have to work, and my hat goes off to you. I was not able to juggle work with family. I ended up just being mediocore at everything. My life, in all aspects, has gotten so much better. My relationship with Hayden is significantly better. I am able to see him more and I appreciate him so much more for making my new job possible. We communicate better, spend more time together, and we are able to relax when Judah goes to bed because I finished "chores" earlier in the day. My staying home makes his life easier as well, so it has really improved our marraige.
My relationship with Judah is so different now too. I get to see him change every single day, and that just brings us closer. I get to pick him up from every nap, love on him before he sleeps, and see his sweet toothy smile every single day. I wouldn't give that up for all the money in the world. I really wouldn't. Being Hayden's wife and Judah's mom is a full time job, but it has the best reward. Love, family, and a merciful God who makes everything possible. That is all you need!
Here are few shots from his 9 month pictures!
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