To blog or not to blog....

To blog or not to blog?

I was talking to my mother-in-law, Debbie, yesterday while we were over there celebrating Father's Day, and she asked me if I felt like I wanted to go back to work or if I liked staying home. I told her no I don't want to work but I do need a hobby, or something to do other than making random crafts (not that I don't love it because I am really enjoying it). She said, "You should blog!". I told her I don't have anything to say anymore because I started the blog to keep people updated about my kidney donation and since I cannot donate, I just don't see the point. She told me she thinks I am hilarious, and loves how I tell stories and so here it goes, funny or not, I guess I will keep blogging :)

I am not sure what I will say but I think my life could be a reality show, if you include ALL of my family members. My siblings and I have been saying that for years. We would all be sitting around going, "Seriously, we could be rich if someone would just film the crap that happens to us!" If you have been following my blog, you would know that my dad needs a kidney transplant, and my sister and I both went through the entire testing process and many re-tests, only to find out we have kidney issues. We both have been poked, scanned, and had to cart around ice chests to hold our urine for 24 hours! Sound TV worthy? So I guess I will press on with my blogging, and hope that it gives some of you a laugh, maybe a tear, and above all else I just hope that it brings a little bit of happiness to your day :)

Moving on to my first or second blog post that has absolutely nothing to do with kidneys! But I promise, I will keep you all updated on my dad's progress. As of now, my brother is the same blood type, but we are not really sure when his testing process will begin because he has a bunch of camps, and a baby on the way, and he lives in Missouri. I  know he wants to donate, but he has obligations, number one being his little family. So I am not exactly sure how all of that will play out, but I will let you know.

Okay now I will actually move on to a blog post that has nothing to do with kidneys :) Yesterday was Father's Day! Hayden will probably kill me for this picture, but it is one of my favorites! I am so lucky to have Hayden as a husband. I know most women say that but I am not saying that because Hayden reads my blog...because I am pretty sure he doesn't! Hayden is one of those men that is always happy. Always! Nothing really upsets him, which is the total opposite of me. I like to think I am the right amount of emotional and rational but the truth is, I am an emotional basket case! So I guess we balance each other out. Hayden always gives me a kiss and hug when he gets home, and not out of obligation but because he is just super loving. He always says thank you, and that he appreciates everything I do. He will help me with anything, as long as I ask. He tells me all the time he is not a mind reader, so if I don't ask it won't happen :) He supported me when I told him I was miserable and did not want to continue to work. We knew I would eventually stay home, but he encouraged me to stay home and raise Judah. He is my biggest cheerleader, and my shoulder to cry on. I love him and the man and father he has become. We will be hitting the 8 year mark this July, and I love him more everyday.

Our Father's Day was jam packed with seeing family but I don't mind because I am lucky to have my dad and Hayden's dad around! We started our morning off at 1:00 a.m, yes that's right you heard me, 1:00 a.m.! Judah had a hard time going to sleep, he tossed for about an hour. This never happens at night, during the day ABSOLUTELY and more on that later, but at night he is usually out like a blind kid playing dodgeball.....not funny? Sorry, had to try and throw in a good joke, but according to Hillary and Chris I am not very funny, so I will keep those little jokes to myself! Anyway, Judah finally fell asleep about 10:00 p.m., and at 1:00 a.m. he woke up screaming bloody murder. Not the scream that means, "Hey mom come pick me up", but the scream that means he is about to have a complete meltdown, and he did! I picked him up and he lost it! After a few minutes, of trying to calm him down, I resorted to a bottle which we haven't had to do in 5 months. Not even that calmed him down, he cried through sucking down the bottle.Once he drank the bottle, he cried for about 30 more minutes before zonking out, and then woke up promptly at 6:30 a.m.! Oh Joy!



We let daddy sleep, it was Father's Day after all. Hayden woke up about 8:30 a.m. after Judah was back down for his nap. Hayden sat in his new rocking chair and drank his coffee while I went back to sleep! By the way, Hayden got his gift Saturday morning because I am terrible at hiding gifts! Seriously, I am an idiot. I got him a rocking chair from Cracker Barrell, and did not think to pull cash out first so he wouldn't know what I had bought him. Hayden is an accountant, he checks the bank account everyday to make sure we are on "budget". So Saturday morning, I asked him if he wanted his gift early, and he did this smile with his answer that let me know he already knew what I had bought him. I was SO mad! But after further thought, I realized it was my own fault! Judah made Hayden a painting! It involved many tears from both of us! Judah hated it! He cried the whole time because he wanted to eat the paint!

Pretty funny! This Father's Day was a little emotional for me towards the end of the day. It was my husband's first Father's Day, and I think Judah and I did a good job showing him how much we love him for taking care of us. Then as I was leaving dinner with my dad, I thought to myself, "I really hope this isn't my last Father's Day with my dad." I know it is a morbid thought, but I just couldn't help it. When I went to bed I prayed that God would save my dad and find him a kidney because I am not ready for him to be gone. I know I should have prayed that God's Will would be done in the situation but I couldn't. Happy Father's Day Daddy, thank you for being a man that I could look up to. Thank you for showing me what to look for in a husband and father for my child. Thank you for being you and never changing :)

My First Mother's Day

With Mother's Day coming up I thought I might write something that did not have to do with the surgery. I hope you enjoy it!

This is me with my son, Judah. He is only 6 days old in this picture. I cannot believe he is already 9 months old. These past 9 months have been the most rewarding days of my life. Being a mother is something I always wanted. I remember telling people the only thing I wanted to do when I grew up was to get married and have children. As time went on, culture convinced me that I needed to have a career in order to feel like I had accomplished something in my life. I remember sitting in the airport about to leave for our honeymoon, and Hayden and I had an arguement about me working once we had children. I told him I wanted to have a career and accomplish "things" before I had children and that I did not want to stay home. Hayden can be very convincing but at the time I thought having children meant I had to give up what I wanted to do.

Fast forward 9 months, I found out I was pregnant one semester into my first teaching job. I started wanting children pretty much immediately after I got a job. I felt since we had two stable incomes we should start our family. Hayden was hesistant and said we should keep waiting so we could pay off our debt, but I had my mind made up! I wanted a baby and I wanted one now! 1 month later I found myself counting days while I was doing my lunch duty at school. It was the Wednesday before we were about to leave for Christmas break. All day I kept counting and thinking "Holy crap....I think I am pregnant". I went home, took a pregnancy test. The digital kind. I bought them the month before because I thought I was pregnant. When I wasn't pregnant it immediately blinked "not pregnant." This time it blinked for what felt like an eternity. Maggie was sitting next to me on the bathroom floor as I stared at the test. "Pregnant!" Immediate tears started streaming down my face as I held Maggie rocking back and forth. Hayden was not home and I didn't know what time he would be home. I called him to check and he immediatley knew something was up. I said nothing, and he kept asking. So I blurted it out, "I am pregnant!" He drove straight home. I think we were both in shock like everyone is at first, but we got used to the idea. I got used to it much faster than him but when your belly is growing it is easier for you to accept that you are about to be a parent!

Judah Daniel Slack was born on August 18, 2011. We were in love. We had no idea what this journey was going to be like, but we were excited. Being Judah's mom is my biggest accomplishment, I know that now. It does not matter if I have a career, raising Judah is my career. He is my job now, and I would not have it any other way. Raising him to be a godly, respectful, loving man will be my greatest accomplishment.

I stayed home with Judah for 12 weeks. I loved every minute of it. I know there were days I wanted to rip my hair out but he really is the best baby. Being able to take care of him those 12 weeks was such a blessing, and I couldn't have done it without the support of my wonderful husband. I was not paid for the last 6 weeks of it, and I was worried about missing work but Hayden told me he wanted me to be with Judah and that Judah is the most important thing. Like I said, he is wonderful. I have such a godly husband. Judah is so lucky to have him as a dad.

Returning to work was very hard for me. I begged Hayden to let me resign because I couldn't think about leaving him with other people without bursting into tears. I knew he would be okay with others but he is my son and I wanted to raise him. I knew I would miss out on smiles, laughs, crys, and rocking him to sleep. I was a mess, but I committed to finish the year, so I returned to work but I knew I would only be finishing the year. Hayden and I agreed I would finish the year and then I would stay home. I told my principal in February. I know it was the right decision.

There are of course people who keep telling me I will be bored, I will want to come back in a year, or I will go crazy. To those people I say thank you for your opinion but secretly I think, "where are your priorities"? I want Judah to be the man I want him to be. How can he be that if I am not raising him? You cannot rely on daycare workers, teachers, or family to teach your kids what you want to teach them. Don't get me wrong, I know there are people who don't have a choice and I applaud them for their hard work. Working and taking care of Judah is very hard for me. I have been miserable. So to the women who work full time and have families you are amazing! But if you have the chance, and the money I think you should raise your children. God created women to raise their children. No one can raise Judah as well as I can. That being said, I am so thankful for my mom, mother-in-law, and sitter for helping me through this year. I don't know where I would be without them.

I so enjoy being a mother. I enjoy every bottle, every giggle, and even wrestling those little(ok he is not so little) legs while I try and change his diaper. The love I have for Judah is indescribable. Hayden and I look at him and still can't believe how much we love an adore him. I thank Hayden all the time for giving me this wonderful baby. I still tear up when I hold him at night when he is sleeping, my heart overflowing with love for this beautiful boy. I cannot wait to watch him grow up...ok I can. I hate that he is growing up. I absolutely hate it. Where is my tiny baby boy??? He is already crawling, eating finger foods, and trying to communicate with me. I love this little boy! Here are some pictures of my handsome boy.  Happy Mother's Day everyone!